From the Mind of AlphaBetsy

I am in a time of metanoia. I am working on changing my heart, mind, self and way of life. I am trying to learn to love myself, to learn to appreciate my body and to be thankful for everything my body does for me. I am working on looking at my body for all it's strengths and not just all the flaws. I am evaluating how I treat myself physically and mentally. I know it is time for me to change, and while it is hard for me I am committed to making it happen.   Some of the changes will be easy, or at least easier. Always when I am craving change the first thing to be effected is my hair. I was at first reluctant to take out any of the length, but I am reconsidering. I have a tendency to hide behind my hair, and it may be time to take that away for a while. I am thinking I may want to do an asymmetrical bob. I have been flirting with it since before the wedding, and I think it is time to jump. I am thinking this could happen as soon as next week.   I am also planni...

To keep myself motivated and to share my own progress I am going to start doing Fitness Fridays. I am really trying to make myself get more active and eat better because my health is flagging. I am feeling tired all the time, getting sick at the drop of a hat, and just generally feeling gross, so it is time to make a change. I was doing so well for a while, and I have fallen off the wagon so hard it's ridiculous. I am working on finding a balance between body love and being complacent. I want to love my body as it is, and how it is, but I also know that my weight does cause me issues and health problems. In some ways I have begun to feel guilty for wanting to make these changes. I know, though, that my reason for wanting the change comes completely from within and not from without. I'm sure that society has had some effect on my psyche, but I don't feel that giving up on body image completely will help my self esteem in the long run. I will not push my fitness agenda on a...

I have made some amazing purchases over the past year. Some of which I am too in love with not to share with my friends. My Ariat Tanbaby cowboy boots. I bought them at a discount boot store around Hocking Hills, and they are one of the best purchases I have ever made. And they were $40. Because they have the thicker heel, they have amazing traction. And the fact that they were made for use in a barn means that they are water proof. They have become my go to footwear for the winter season.   Kixies thigh highs. I got a pair for Christmas from my husband and they are amazing. They don't roll!! And I have some thighs. You can get them online at Curvy Girl Lingerie. And they look super cute on, don't they. I am going to buy more because I am completely in love with them.     Seth also got me some of Curvy Girl's lingerie. If you are a little more ample, lol, they have some beautiful pieces that are available in extended sizes. This is a pin-up styl...

I am ready to change. Once several years ago I had a dream and in that dream there was a point where a vampire looked at me and said "You are resistant to change". I remember waking up horrified and laughing because that was not a subtle reminder of the subconscious, but a bit of a bitch slap instead. And the worst part was that the vampire was right, I have serious issues with change. I am the worst kind of creature of habit. I will stay in a job I hate for years because the idea of seeking a new one, interviewing and leaving my current job makes me sick. I get plagued by anxiety and questions, better just to stay put where I'm comfortable. It has always been one of my biggest weaknesses. So this year I decided that my challenge and inspiration for the year 2014 is the word change . I am prepared to shake myself up, and take are of some things that I need to change, as well as some things I just want to. I am tired of holding myself back. I am an awesome person and I ...

2013 was an interesting year; it was a mixed bag of good and bad. This year: My sister went off to the army; My mom moved to Columbus; We went tubing for the first time, Traci was medically dismissed and came home from the army; We had an Alcoholic dessert party for my birthday; I held the second egg decorating party; We did the glo run; I got two new ren faire bodices; We did the Komen; We went to the viking festival; We took free zumba classes at the columbus commons; A water pipe ruptured in our front yard leading to us getting a new pipe run and our whole front yard getting dug up; We went to comfest for the first time; The water issues led to us finding that our house was improperly grounded, only after Seth got zapped a couple times and we lost a couple appliances; We took Traci to the casino for her 22 birthday; Mom and I went to the Columbus Food Truck Festival; Mom and I went to the casino to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy f...

I have a set "about me" list that I use to populate every internet based section of that name. I wrote it several years ago and recently I have begun to realize that it might not be as accurate as it once was. Even things about myself that I would have thought too ingrained to change are not as apparent as they once were. I have begun to think that I need to review this list and see if these are things I am okay with letting go, if they are better gone, or if I should start working to make them a vital part of me again. This is the list: I am an admitted bibliophile. - Still true, though even my books are suffering. I need something like 6 more bookcases to make it right. I need a trip to Ikea big time. I wear my heart on my sleeve. - Still true. My first crushes were both characters, not people. -  Can't really change, lol. I am a dork. - I am definitely still a dork, though I have been neglecting that this year. No gaming, no conventions. Sad. I am a singer. - I...

My favorite season has come and gone, and now it is Nowember. We had a fun and interesting Halloween though, marked by parties, street festivals, pumpkin destruction, and goal setting (at least on my part.) Right now I have a house full of bats, spiders, crows, witches and pumpkins, and my dumpster is FULL of the remains of 40 pumpkins. My hair has been professionally washed and trimmed to fix all the damage from three weekends of curlers and big hair. I have been a psychotic baker and a pageant kid (a la honey boo boo). I have baked 3 dozen cookies, made many dips, decorated one pumpkin, and frantically searched for more. I saw a Halloween drag show, ate pumpkin ice cream and found out how delicious cider is with caramel vodka. Overall it has been a fabulous couple of weeks. And in case you were wondering this is what that looks like. Jen and Chris' Winter Wonderland Halloween Party   Me as Mrs. Lovett Close up of Lovett Sexy constr...