Pride, Prejudice and Piercings

I am not going to reset my blog to adult however, this particular post is dealing with adult themes and may possibly be offensive to some people. It is not my intention. The female body, body modification/piercings, and frank conversations lie ahead. You have been warned. :)

I want to tell you what I did on Friday, what led to that, why it is momentous and what it means for/to me.

Friday after work Seth picked me up and we took a ride to the university area to here in Columbus to go to Evolved Body Art. We were going there for me to get my nipples pierced. This may elicit one of a couple reactions: "So what.", "Why in hell would you do that?", "That's really gross." or, you know, "Cool." I decided to get this body modification because I have a major issue with my breasts.

My breasts and I are not the best of friends. At best I resent them and at worst outright despise this part of my anatomy. Why, you may ask. Well... there are a couple of reasons. They are very wide set. VERY wide set. They have a space between them of a couple of inches. Also, one is larger than the other. I know, everyone has a larger one, but mine is also fuller, rounder, plumper and larger by about a size than it's shrinky counterpart. A full cup size. That is a substantial difference. As I have been losing weight, they are beginning to even out a bit, but there is still a visible difference between the two.

When I first started my weight loss journey in June of 2010 I had decided on certain rewards for certain goals and one of those was that when I hit 50 pounds lost I would get my nipples pierced, because I loved how it looked and it was body related, but not food related. Then in January/February when I hit that goal I seriously second guessed the idea. I intended to forget it completely. But Seth, who knew all about my goals and such,  asked me if I was going to do my reward for 50 pounds lost. I told him I didn't know. And then I waffled for 10 months. He would politely advise that I needed to reward myself for my hard work and that I should honor my promises to myself, etc. And I would get pissed and say "I know". You can get the picture.

Fast forward to a couple of weekends ago when I noticed an ad by evolved for one of their female piercers, and I thought to myself just do it, so I emailed her to see if she could get me in the next day, but the next day rolled around and not hearing from her I made other plans, so it was put off again. After much discussion with Seth we decided the next viable day to go was the day after Thanksgiving, because Seth was off and could come with me to lend moral support.

So Friday after work I went to Evolved. There were no female piercers in house, but I got a very nice gentleman named Jared who would get me taken care of. The hardest part for me was taking off my shirts (I was wearing 3, I almost always wear layers it's another issue I am working on) and bra to stand topless before him; presenting myself to be pierced. It was so completely clinical, though, that after a minute of weird I was just chatting away like I wasn't half naked. A couple of movements and it was done, quick and pretty much painless. And now I have matching horizontal bars in my nipples.

I am truly proud of myself for doing this. I kept a promise to myself, that was important enough to be made in the first place. I took myself way out of my comfort zone by taking my clothes (at least part of them) off in front of someone I do not know. I took a piece of myself that I am not overly fond of and made it pretty, showing it some love, albeit in an alternative way. And I allowed myself to truly acknowledge how far I have come in my journey, not only in weight loss, but in self acceptance and self love.

I have lost 66 pounds (accounting for holiday pounds accumulated already and not yet removed) and 3 dress sizes. I regularly take the stairs at work now from 1 to 5 and while I am winded I make it all the way. I can wear the ring Seth gave me for our 6 month anniversary again, and he has adjusted my engagement ring multiple times (it's so handy that he made it and can modify in seconds). I generally feel better, which is worth it's weight. I can fit in the pea coat I wore in high school again. :) So many little victories. I am so proud of how much I have accomplished, so before the Thanksgiving spirit is completely gone I am thankful for myself, and the fact that I have taken control of my life, so much for the better.

Blessings