From the Mind of AlphaBetsy

I have been fighting a massive battle inside my mind, and I feel the need to get some of this out. This is for me to purge, and is for anyone who may be having the same issues I am. If you have been reading my blog for any amount of time then you would know that I have been working really hard to get into better shape, and to take off weight. I have lost and kept off fifty pounds. I am certainly proud of that. I have also gotten to the point where I can walk a 5k like it is nothing. I can do a full zumba class and come out the other side just a little winded. I have come a really long way. But then I started to read the body positive movement posts and the healthy at every size movement. And I started to feel unnecessarily ashamed of my efforts and my desire to change my body. I started to feel guilty that I can't just love my body, and I have such a drive to lose weight. The guilt made me shame eat which led to me gaining weight, which made me feel worse, and cu...

I am finally starting to feel like myself again. I had a ridiculous sinus infection for almost two solid weeks, which is just ridiculous. I ended up in urgent care to get antibiotics on January 2. Then it was another day and a half before I felt like it was getting better, but luckily it was in time for the going away party for my little sister on Saturday the 5th. Then we saw her off to basic training and watched her final swear in on Tuesday. I will admit that while all this was going on I was not even pretending to be careful. I was just enjoying the time before my sister left and trying to get healthy again. Late this week though I really buckled down and got on the ball with diet and exercise, making sure to exercise daily and keeping well under my calorie goal. :) So I got off to a rocky start, but I am making up for it now. Altogether I earned 12 broom points For the challenge, my mom and I were walking in a local park together for exercise this week. We had fun walking and ta...

To jump start me back into good behavior, and get myself back on the right track, I decided to sign up again for the pagan fitness challenge. I have done it before fairly successfully, but this time I am going to pull out the stops and make myself push harder. This challenge goes to just after my birthday, which is March 14, so I am considering this a til my b-day goal list. I already had on my list of yearly goals a couple of health/fitness goals . Those are: I will register and run warrior dash again (and do it in under 1 hour) I will start taking belly dance again. I will keep up my healthy diet and exercise program, and get down to a size 10.  I will get to where I can do 25 regular push-ups.  I will start skating and training for Roller Derby again.  I will find a new family Dr. and go get a full physical, and get all my blood levels, etc. checked.  These are great long term goals, but for this challenge I am going to set several smaller and more realis...

The Color Run was on July 21 and it was a total blast. Other than getting a big poof of died corn starch to the right ear. Otherwise it was a messy, colorful joyfest. Here is what it looked like. It was seriously so much fun. :) We got messy and colorful and sweaty and loved every minute.  Beyond that I have joined a gym in the last couple of weeks to get my butt back in gear and lose the last of the weight I want to lose. I have about an inch to go before my dress will fit, and it has to happen. So I am working hard now to get there. I am taking a boot camp class and a weight loss class through the gym. I am sore and I feel amazing.  School is almost done for the quarter, thankfully, and then life will become all wedding all the time, lol. 2 months to go as of Monday!! Ack. 

Week one is over and here's where I am. I did really well on exercise. I got up at 5 and worked out 30-40 minutes on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and we did the big hike on Saturday. Tuesday I woke up with stomach pains and stomach issues and exercise do not mix, so I skipped my workout that day. Sunday was Easter and I just didn't get a chance to workout that day. I did fly a kite that day though, so I got at least a little exercise. For eating, I definitely ate more fruit and veggies. And during the week my eating was awesome. I did a really good job of keeping myself healthy and portioned well. Saturday morning I was really bad. My family went out to breakfast before hiking and that meant the breakfast bar at Frisches. Buffets are my achille's heel. I just want to keep eating and you know not everything I'm picking up is healthy.Sigh. At least we did go hiking after, and I ate well the rest of the day, but still. Sunday I was really proud of myself, becau...

When I heard the new description for the Spring into Fitness challenge from  get off your broom  I was so intrigued that I had to jump into this round. I will spare you a complete description and just say that if you are interested after reading my goals and such that you should check out the get off your broom blog. This is me on 3-24 .  My starting numbers: Weight: 209 Bust: 45.5 Waist: 39.5 Hips: 43 Thigh: 23 Bicep: 13.25 TASK 1: Set your goals and make a plan.  My goal is to weigh under 199 pounds by the end of the challenge and to have dropped one dress size. To make this happen I will: Continue on Weight Watchers. I have recently switched to points plus, and kind of love it. I like that weight watchers really encourages you to eat well and when I am consistent and really do it, it works really well. Work out at least 30 minutes a day 7 days a week. Eat no fried foods at all...not even fries at sit down restaurants. Eat more fish an...

Today is the two year anniversary of this blog. :) Yep it was two years ago today that I decided to jump into the world of blogging not really even knowing what that meant. And it has been a great two years. I have gotten to know so many amazing people from all across the globe and it is a beautiful thing. In case you were curious, this is my very first post.  Funny how much things can change, rearrange, be reevaluated and rejected in two years, isn't it? And where am I today? Well I am working on changing my major to English, so I can transfer to a four year college to continue my bachelor's, master's and possibly phd. We shall see. I am going to start applying for scholarships like mad so that after the wedding I can hopefully start attending class full time and work part time (if at all) to finish my degree. Seth is still looking for work after being laid off at the beginning of the year. The biggest issue is that he is not going to find a job that pays as well as...

So as previously stated I have recently realized that I can wear my favorite little black dress, which I have been keeping in the back of the closet refusing to give away for 8 or so years. It is one of those one of a kind amazing fitting dresses and it has pockets. I had my Seth snap a couple of pictures of me in the dress before date night. It's a little hard to see, but you can get the idea. Yesterday my mom and sister came over to help me paint my downstairs half bath. I did not think to take any before pictures, but let's just say the while room was a dingy white. We found an amazing green paint (apparently we like green paint) on the mistint shelf at my sister's home depot, so we used that and a black paint that we had already bought. We painted the vanity, medicine cabinet and trim black.  I have a confession to make, I am a pagan and I can not meditate. I either blank my mind so much that there is literally nothing and doze off, or I will allow too muc...

2012 is starting out not so good for me. It could be worse, and I know that, but still. On Tuesday I got up, worked out, got ready for work, walked out to my car and found that someone had smashed out my driver's side window, pulled out my center console and stolen the heating panel out of my car. WTH!! The heating panel?! I don't get it, but it happened, so I am currently driving a red Dodge Grand Caravan while my Beastie (my cars name is Beastie) is being repaired. I had this horrible fear that they might have to/ want to total my car, which with Seth not having a job would have been really bad, but luckily this is not the case. Yay!! In a good note I bought an awesome offer through Groupon today. It is for a month long bootcamp work out program, where you do a boot camp class 3 days a week for 4 weeks. Plus with the package I bought you can also take 10 fitness classes like kettlebell and yoga. Why I like this one is that they offer classes at 5:15 am, which will actuall...

I couldn't figure out why I wasn't getting these posts and then I realized that I had changed everything, but my subscription to the blog, oops, so now I will play catch up a bit. First I should say that with all the exercise I have been doing it can not make up for the holidays, it just can't and I have decided that is okay. I refuse  to become so stressed about what I am eating, drinking etc. during the holidays that I don't enjoy myself at all. I am not overeating, but I am also not punishing myself for eating the trifle my little sister made. Once the holidays are over I will buckle down and be super careful again, but for now I am enjoying my family and the food that is involved in that. I am still exercising and counting my points, but I am NOT panicking if I realize that I have put on a pound. It will come back off, I know that, so I am letting it go. Not becoming complacent, but just refusing to kill myself over small gains and small things. My Week 4 Stats ...

I am not going to reset my blog to adult however, this particular post is dealing with adult themes and may possibly be offensive to some people. It is not my intention. The female body, body modification/piercings, and frank conversations lie ahead. You have been warned. :) I want to tell you what I did on Friday, what led to that, why it is momentous and what it means for/to me. Friday after work Seth picked me up and we took a ride to the university area to here in Columbus to go to Evolved Body Art. We were going there for me to get my nipples pierced. This may elicit one of a couple reactions: "So what.", "Why in hell would you do that?", "That's really gross." or, you know, "Cool." I decided to get this body modification because I have a major issue with my breasts. My breasts and I are not the best of friends. At best I resent them and at worst outright despise this part of my anatomy. Why, you may ask. Well... there are a coup...

I know this is late in coming, but it has been one of those wild weeks. Obviously Halloween made things hard, plus there were more parties, going to see a movie, homework, mid terms and more...Whoo. I am exhausted. Last week went pretty well for me. I kept up my exercise every weekday morning. My diet was suffering a bit thanks to Halloween,  but all in all it was a pretty good week. I also stepped up my use of weights this week. I really felt like that helped a lot. Just need to keep it up. My Week 4 Stats Weight 207      an increase, but Chest 44 Waist 38.5       down half an inch Hips 42.25       down 3/4 inch Right Thigh 22.75    down 1/4 inch Right Arm 14           The Week 5 Mini-Challenges There will be three mini-challenges this week, which will appear simple. The reality is that they may be simple but they are not easy. They will take a lot of willpower and some planning ah...

My check in: This week I worked really hard to try to make up for last weekend and all the craziness that involved, so when I weighed myself on Friday morning I had taken off almost all the weight that I put on.  But then I went to another big Halloween party on Saturday and it all went to hell again. The adult trick or treating was a blast though. And I did dance for 2 hours straight, so I feel like I made up for some of the naughty.  I guess we will see on Saturday, which is my weekly weigh in day, how bad I really was.  Me stomping some Barbies at Monsterbash on Satuday... take that ridiculous standards.  This morning I tried a new workout video I bought ( Biggest Loser - Cardio Max) and it kicked my butt. Wow. I am stiff tonight. Bob sucks. Lol.  My Week 3 Stats Weight 204.7 (at official weekly weigh in) Chest 44 Waist 39 Hips 43 And I am adding in... Right Thigh 23 Right Arm 14.5 Part 1: How balanced is your diet? Are you eating heal...

I did not intend to keep combining these two topics, but apparently that is how it is working again this week. Next week I will try to separate these out because they really aren't very related, but for now it will work. Get off your Broom.  This was a particularly hard week for me. I did well with work-outs Monday thru Thursday, but then I had Friday off, so I did not take the time to work out. I did a lot of cleaning though, and more cleaning, and more cleaning. And then on Saturday I had two separate Halloween parties at my house. The first was a witches tea for the ladies of our families. I had a really good turn out, and lots of amazing foods, which is where things got dangerous. After a couple of hours of tea and snacking the ladies left and we began to reconfigure the house for our adult party. Also a great turn out, but even more food, and worse snack foods. Couple this with alcohol and coming down from the stress of getting the house together and I went down hill badl...

This month has been a test. The first two weekends held renaissance festivals. Then came Mother's day. Then an unexpected death. Then the Race for the Cure. This past weekend saw a road trip to Missouri, a couple of fun stops and a close encounter of the tornado kind. With all of this going on I also made the deans list at school and was invited to the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. I am definitely going to join. I secured my loans for the next year plus. And I got my next set of classes scheduled. Woo-hoo. I have a couple of papers to write this weekend and then my classes are done for the spring quarter. Time flies. My weight loss is still  going. Slowly, but still moving downward. The last two weekends with a funeral and a road trip did nothing to help. Most people do not bring healthy foods to the bereaved, they bring comfort foods. And while I did pretty good food wise on the road trip, I snacked a lot. More than I should have for sure. My new goal is to hit one-derland by...

I did buy Seth a Wii for his birthday. And we have been having fun playing with it since Friday. We bought and loaded Jam City Roller Girls, but I haven't played it yet. I gave him his gift early, because we were supposed to be having a three person birthday party on Saturday for myself, Seth's sister-in-law and my friend, Niki and Seth. Friday night though there was a health emergency for Niki, non life threatening but certainly life affecting, and so she and her husband Chris were not going to be able to make it. In the light of what was happening for them we decided to just cancel the party altogether. My mom and sister still came over, so we ordered chinese and played wii for a couple of hours. They are so awesome and brought us great presents. My family is amazing!! Right now Seth and I are on vacation. A much needed break I assure you. We are staying home, getting some things done that needed done and just relaxing. I have two craft swaps I am going to try to get done...